All of my protagonists from every book I've written fit onto a spectrum of darkness, a scale representing characters' personalities and tendencies. Jia can be found at the very end of the spectrum. Her overall life, her actions and reactions, tendencies, mindset, and general negativity frequent the darker side of the scale.
Here is a mock-up of the spectrum.
After Dasiel's death, Jia is drawn into a yawning abyss of despair and depression. Wrought with guilt and self-loathing, she drags on through her mission wishing that everything would just end. Shortly after slaying Draxa - Eun Min - Jia turns her blade on herself, intent on suicide. It is only thanks to Tehyo that she goes on to rescue the Xun heirs, meet Dasiel's father, and take down a tyrant.
Jia's suicide attempt is something I hold close to my heart as it echos my own struggle with depression and anxiety. Her thoughts and mindset at the time are exact reflections of my own experience with such dark thoughts. It is through the saving grace of my husband - who comes in the form of Tehyo - that I have overcome such obstacles.
Ask for help.
Find a family member or friend.
If you don't have anyone you're comfortable talking with, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
Take care of yourself.